And in Other News . . .

           I kind of want to get into some of the more serious current issues.  Because I am a serious person.  Yesterday, I even left a patronizingly sarcastic comment on a comment somebody had left on a review somebody had written on a book I looked up at Amazon because I’d heard about it on PBS.

            See?  Serious.

            I was thinking about these things last night as I was winding myself up in my sheets, and thought – you know, serious discussion is what blogging’s all about.  So here goes:

Aging:      I’m against it.

Politics:    Usually involve people who want power.  Wanting power is pretty much an indication that you shouldn’t have it.  I still say we need to find that guy from Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and make him do it.  Whatever the election is about, he’s the guy.

Sleeping:   Not so much against it as  incapable of it.  Yeah, yeah – I’ve tried vitamins and drinking enough   water and exercising before bed and not exercising before bed and zen and imagining a white horse running and counting cricket chirps and even watching political commentary.  I personally think that sometimes they just leave out the “off” switch in some people.  And no, I am not ADD.  Excuse me, there’s something I’ve got to run and go do.

Being Green:  My back yard.  Lovely.  Except you have to mow it.  I wonder if that counts as conditional love?

Back yard fun.  Other pictures at the end.

The Olympics: I’m pretty much “for” on this because, even though we hardly ever watch TV, we like watching these, which keeps all of us in the same room.  Well, unless you count what’s inside of laptop computer screens as a “room.”  But at least we’re all in one room while we’re in other rooms.  That’s an improvement.

            However, I am going to list all of the events in which I do not ever, under any circumstances, wish to participate:

1.      The pommel horse.  In my experience, usually horses only have one pommel, and that only if they are wearing a saddle.  It’s what the horn sticks out of.  Good for keeping you from sliding down the horse’s neck when he wants to grab a bite on trail, which he is not supposed to do in bit.

These gymnastics “horses” actually have two pommels, though they wouldn’t do you any good on a saddle, the way the things are designed.  I have a vague memory of abject humiliation and shame connected with trying to “leap” up on a pommel horse in gym class once.  In New York, I think it was, where I was already the skinny, weakling little white twirp.  So this event does not interest me, even though that one American guy did a fairly amazing and credible imitation  of fireworks on the horse, which I very much appreciated WATCHING.

2.     Did I ever mention how much I hate Microsoft Word and it’s very helpful automatic formatting?

3.     I don’t want to get anywhere near anything that has anything whatsoever to do with bars of any kind.  Not the least because you’ll usually have to “leap” onto it.  But also because you have to balance.  I have good balance.  Really, I do.  I can sit a horse who is in the process of jumping sideways fifteen feet because he’s seen a basketball standard knocked over up in the mountains where – well, we still can’t figure out why that basketball thing was up there in the first place.  It’s always easier to sit a jump like that when you see it coming, but hey – I stuck it.

I am pretty much sure, though, that even if I could pull off a double back twist whatever dismount off of something, I would not stick it.  And that cute little three sixty turn they make on one foot on the balance beam (beams, bars, whatever)?  Yeah.  Well.

I once saw film of on Olympic hopeful training on the uneven parallel bars (does that bother people with OCD?).  The kid missed a grip, flew off backwards and when she hit the ground, the top of her head was facing the same direction as her feet.  I mean, she was folded over on herself.  My neck would have snapped.  Seriously, they would have had to bag up my head and tape it to the rest of me for pick-up. 

Not doin’ that.  Ever.

4.     High dive? Not doin’ that.  Low dive?  Who are they trying to kid?  Even when I was a tiny thirteen year old Chinese girl I couldn’t have done it.

5.  This may surprise you, but I’m not doin’ the equestrian stuff either.  Jumping.  My little horse loves to jump, but we usually stay away from people’s fences and ponds and anything else that may be built more than a foot off the ground or a couple of feet wide, and certainly stay away from anything that could collapse and trip the horse then have him do a flip and land on top of me.  I’m trying not to be reactionary, here.  But I’ve been stepped on by ONE FOOT of a horse, and I’m telling you, that’s more than enough. Though, now I think of it, maybe that horse flip thing would work as a new international event.

6.      Dressage looks cool.  You get to wear those hot hunting jackets, and it doesn’t look like you can get damaged too badly.  But you do have to hold very still and make only meaningful gestures.  Nice if I could do either of those things, but pretty darn unlikely.

7.     Running—uh-huh.  They even let you do it in gold hoop earrings.  Still, you’d have to move fast for at least 100 meters or whatever.  I can do that if a baby is falling over the railing of the second story deck across the street, and even get there in time to catch the baby.  But do it for a gold medal (especially one that looks plastic – GO CHINA)?  Naw.  I don’t think so. 

8.     Beach volley ball?  As much as I respect the sport, the uniforms wouldn’t suit me.  Motocross?  Don’t you hate what those helmets can do to your hair?  Did they do ping pong this time?  Maybe they carried that particular even on OXG.  Or maybe the cartoon network.

9.       The only thing I would ever even consider doing, because I really, really love watching it, is curling.  I love curling.  It’s ADD (which I am not  – honest) in slow motion.  Very calming, almost lyrical, and a very good use for brooms.  Maybe the only good use for them.

10.    End of Olympics part.

 Other hot button issues:

Women’s rights:   I leave that to the leftists.

Eggs:  Cooking some now.  Finally.  Call it “brenner.”  (Get it?  Breakfast AND dinner? Bre-nner?  Yuk yuk. Yesterday, I didn’t even get to the shower and dressing part of the day till about three – don’t you wish YOU were a writer, too?  Uh-huh.  No really, I had to make an emergency run to Radio Shack for the studio – drummers get testy if their headphone cables blow in the middle of a session.  And make a deposit and do all this scanning.  But anyway, the shower was before I remembered that I had six heavy bales of grass hay that we’d put out in the sun to dry out because the barn had flooded again during irrigation deSPITE my efforts with the poop-dikes.  And I had to move those bales out of Jetta’s jail before I could put Jetta back INTO Jetta’s jail, so about twenty minutes after my shower I was worse off than I’d been before.)  I like eggs with cheese, bacon, ham, onion, garlic, mushrooms and numberless other things, not necessarily all at one time and in pretty much any combination.  Here is where I consider diversity to be a useful concept.  Yummm.  And that, my dears, is where I’m headed right NOW.

            More shots of Heaven.  Had a whole troup of faeries running around in here yesterday, complete with sparkle wings and faery houses.  Mostly, they swung on the rope swing and squealed.

Maybe we can get Misty to post faery pictures?????