This is silly – this post (I thought I’d published last night somehow didn’t take) is really not that big a deal, so reposting to you – it’s like when you make some little comment half under your breath, just some little thing, and somebody says, “What did you say?” and the moment has kind of passed and you say, “Nothing. Just – I really didn’t say anything.” And they say, “No. I want to know what you said.” And suddenly you’re sitting under this cone of light in a dark room and the world is focused on you, and they put the mic to your mouth – and – all it was was some happy little chirp that had only had value right in that moment . . .
Anyway. I just wrote this in a happy glow last night. Sorry I made everybody come to see, and there was nothing to see. And now here it is, and you’re going to say, “For this, I came here twice?”
And a little background: twice a year, in April and in October, the LDS church has a huge series of quiet but powerful meetings we call General Conference. It used to be that people came to Utah from all over the world – they flew for hours, drove for days, came across mountains and prairies, over oceans and difficult times, to gather together for this event at Temple Square. The Tabernacle, a building that was an architectural miracle in its time, never had enough seats for everybody. So a few years ago, they built the Conference Center, another miracle of its time – with seats for at least 35000 people and acoustics to die for. But above that, all those people all over the globe – Africa, Europe, South America, Australia – everywhere – now they gather around in the glow of LCD screens, ring side seats for what is an intellectual, spiritual and philosophical feast.
I went to a Church of Christ revival once with my friends. This is nothing at all like that. Just a quiet convocation with gorgeous music.
In October, when I watch, I make little things with my hands. I love doing that. Little Christmas ornaments and gifts for the coming holidays. But with my heart? Open like a cup, for all the reassurance and comfort and advisement that comes. I can’t explain why I love it – but last night, I tried, I guess:
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When I was your age, there were three days of conference. Friday, too. And the welfare meeting at eight in the morning. I remember being a little kid in LA and having to sit through the one session we got on TV. I hated it. Holding still. People talking and talking. Me trying to keep my brain going by tracing the Early American designs on the TV table in front of me.
Then I grew up. And all of those sessions? When I was in college, I started watching them for real. And I found out that i LOVED THEM. LOVED< LOVED<LOVED. The welfare session is where I learned that the brethren didn’t want us to be in debt for anything but a house – and maybe a car – but that we should get rid of even that debt as soon as possible, and that little bit of advice has underpinned my entire adult life.
For six months, I look forward to conference. And October is always my favorite. I heard somebody call it “pajama church,” and that, it is. And do things with your hands so you can hold still and listen church. But mostly, it’s beautiful, intelligent, deep-hearted, soul-satisfying church. And in the past two days, I have been told in the warmest and most lovely of terms that there certainly is a God, and a plan, and that Christ loves us and has saved us from sorrow and isolation and that, in a time when everything seems to be spiraling out of control, I have the power to control my own self, to offer love, to offer service, to change the world, if only in one moment for one person in one situation at a time.
Yes, it’s people talking and talking and talking – but beautiful, dignified men who speak with quiet voices, good sense and their hearts and the truth and I am strengthened and refreshed and braver and more patient (even with my swiss cheese little self). So YAY and WHoopY!!!
And what’s more: only ONE MORE CONFERENCE before my baby comes home!!!
Yes.
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