Yes, Megan ~

I can’t seem to sneak even one tenth of an ounce of dark chocolate without going into a total brain-carb-slump.  Which brings me to my subject, actually.  Last week, Megan wrote a piece, picking one word as her banner for the new year and suggesting that her readers try to pull a word out of the hat for themselves.

And I thought about it.  Kind of.  As much as I find myself able to think about anything these last many weeks.  The thing is harder than it sounds, really.  Picking one word, one tiny attitude adjustment that will correct your pitch for the whole next year.  Meagn’s word is interesting, but it ain’t gonna work for this puppy.  First of all, I don’t know how to do it.  And I wouldn’t get anything done if I didn’t do it.  But if I think like that, maybe I should pick the word “guilty” and get it over with.

At one point, I thought maybe my word should be “awake.”  As in, I will see what is around me (like Lindy), feel gratitude (like Linda), not miss opportunities, love family (like Rachel)(yes, I know I could plug any number of you into these places), eat and sleep so that I have clarity and energy and power to actually DO the things that race around and around in my head jockeying for my pitiful little store of focus.  But I don’t know how to do this one, either.

Then, I read my Gin’s piece on her word, and now I’m forced, once again, to steal an idea.  I think that what she wrote is what I need – in spite of the fact that I don’t know how to do it, I think it’s worth figuring out.

In the last year, a teacher from a high school up north died when the band bus, driven by a licensed but ill bus driver, lurched off the freeway at full speed.  The faculty member jumped for the wheel, trying to pull the bus back onto the road.  In the crash, she was the only one badly injured.  I admire her efforts, and probably, because of her, that award-winning band didn’t lose a single soul.

But I’m left thinking that too often I leap for the wheel when the driver is actually still there, hale and hearty and in control of speed and direction.  Like I think that if I’m not driving the bus, nobody else will.   It’s a poor metaphor if you look too closely – you can’t just pick a seat in your own life and expect to get anywhere.  So maybe what I should concentrate on is being the engine.  The working-your-guts out part and leave the trip planning to somebody who can actually see the road.

You probably burn way too much fuel if your idle is set to “fret,” rather than “work and trust” huh?