This is probably just the rest of the actual lessons learned. Maybe.
Lesson One: how to fix a gate, primarily to make it rattlesnake proof (my take on it) but also to make it functional (Gin’s take on it) so that Murphy will not have to vault the wall next time we get there at midnight and the gate won’t open and end up lacerating his hands on the stucco and ending up face first in the wood chips (which last thing he did not actually do).
First step, invite your father down to your house.
Second, turn him loose with the tools.
Third step: find the paint while everybody else is off on bikes and paint it yourself.
These are not part of the lesson, but they’re cool.
Lesson #2
How to spot your gson in a roiling, unruly crowd of school’s-out heathens. (It’s all in the color/shirt selection.)
Lesson #3
How to take self portraits without actually giving anything away.
Lesson #4
How to get your game face on when you’re about to spend an hour sparring.
Lesson #5
How to play peek-a-boo.
But this is a two-pronged lesson that begins with the man in the background and what he is doing. Which leads to Lesson #6:
A study in relationships.
First you meet someone. Someone – sympathetic and pleasant.
Maybe there’s some hugging.
A little mutual back-scratching (though this bit seems pretty unilateral to me).
Great buddies. And everything is hunky dory.
Till you get to the point where the relationship starts to become a little unbalanced. One leaning just a little heavier on the other, you know. That’s when you have to start paying attention. Establishing boundaries. Because if you don’t –
It’s going to be hard to get anything done.
Lesson #7
What to do when you finally just get too tired to live.
We offer two alternatives: Sandy’s – and then there’s Max’s technique. Either one will serve.
This is not part of the lesson. But it will show you that maybe you don’t want to kick the person swaddling you.
Because eventually mothers in this position (not the swaddled position, but the other) –
will finally put you to bed.
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